I’m sending this COVID 19 tip to some of my "older friends and very distant relatives" who may benefit from the following information......
Please note that I have recently stopped using toilet tissue as it has become difficult to find and expensive.
Instead I am recycling our dryer sheets as a substitute.
Here are just some of the observed advantages:
-my arse now smells like lavender
-our neighbours' dogs no longer embarrasses me
-I am no longer plagued by static electricity
-for the first time in 23 years, my ass is wrinkle-free
I sincerely hope this helps.